Members of the divorce support groups always turn up their noses when the subject of remarriage comes up. “No, never going to remarry; no never going to go there again, etc, etc.” You’ve probably said the same thing.
The fact is, over half of the group will be remarried in five years. (Skye and I have attended many second weddings.) We do stress to the group that they need at least three years to heal. I know it seems like a long time but it is a gift to you. Finances, emotions, careers, friends, children and spiritual healing all must be faced and healed as best one can. You have been hurt and it is totally selfish to get involved with someone unless you have a whole person to offer to them. (Read Chapter 24 in my book.)
Skye and I dated for over four years. Before that, we had spent much time in a Christian Divorce Support Group learning to forgive those who had hurt us as well as asking forgiveness to those we had hurt. We had time to do thorough assessments of ourselves to learn what we had done in our individual marriages that contributed to our divorces. We had time to get our finances back on track and to let our children adjust to our marriage intentions.
The following poem was written and read at our wedding by our dear friend, Julie. I hope you will enjoy it.
As promises are made today, we stand on holy ground,
For God has paved the way ahead, where blessings shall be found.
Although we’ve walked on different roads, and come a separate way,
The master plan was written that has brought us here today.
God knew the plans he had for us, for good and peace within.
We won’t look back and ponder on what could or should have been.
We’re much less apt to stumble if our eyes are straight ahead,
And looking toward God’s greatest prize to which we will be led.
Still, cherished memories come with us, those gathered through the years,
Like golden rays of sunshine when the morning light appears.
The brokenness, we leave behind, for we have been restored,
To find our heart’s desires, as we together serve the Lord.
Our wounds have healed, our tears are dried, but God has left a scar,
To show the world around us he can use us as we are.
So may we be a light to those who cannot find their way,
Our home an open shelter where in safety all might stay.
And when we’re in our later years, our zeal shall never die,
May fruits we bear be ever proof, our God’s still lifted high.
So hold my hand and walk with me, and listen as we go,
And if I stumble lift me up, and always help me grow.
When winter winds around us blow, together we shall be,
Our love providing lasting warmth, throughout eternity.
And if possessions pass away, we’ll know before they’re gone
That they were just illusions that we never trusted on.
So whether health or sickness comes, we’ll still be side by side,
Forever as the bridegroom and his always cherished bride.
We now become a cord of three, as with these vows we make,
The strongest union ever, and a bond that cannot break.
For Christ becomes the center strand, entwined between our souls,
His strength he’ll give us daily, as our future he unfolds.
Each day we’ll join our hand with God’s, and greet the morning sun,
And may we still be hand in hand, when life on earth is done.
So with his grace may we now be, protected from life’s harms,
Until the day that one shall place the other in God’s arms.