Divorce Questions

  • Can God forgive me and still use me in His service?
  • Will I always feel like this?
  • Who am I now that I am no longer a spouse?
  • What are the practical things I need to do throughout this journey?
  • How do I start over?
  • Can I remarry?


Although divorce circumstances are unique, the healing stages and necessary directives for Christian healing are consistent. The Holy Spirit is the personage of the Trinity who heals us. Jesus forgives us and God uses this time to reveal Himself. Although God hates divorce, He can use it for our good and His glorification.

The divorce is not the problem but my perspective of the problem is. By accepting a different perspective, the problem may become a blessing.

“It is time we all grow up and get rid of our naïve thoughts about life. Life can hurt, and the truth is that most of us do the most growing during times of pain. God knows this. He is Master of this universe and can stop bad things from occurring. Yet, this would go against His design of… free will. The wills of others may not be the same as ours, and when they conflict, discord occurs.”

“People who do what is right may have many problems, but the Lord will solve them all. (Ps 34:19, NCV)

“Pain is a sign that something is wrong and that something has to change…but the situation will not go away unless the problem is corrected.”

“Obviously God was well aware that I wanted to serve him, but I had to address the situation in my marriage first. God allowed the crisis to occur so he could heal the dysfunction and brokenness. I had to own up to my poor behaviors that contributed to this dysfunctional marriage. My husband had the same opportunity to face the pain and ask God for correction.”

“One interesting question my Godly counselor posed was whether I was in love with my spouse or just in love with marriage.” The latter is idolatry. “This suggests that only one person in this world could make them [me] happy and fulfilled. Therefore, they [I] chose to put all their efforts and identity into being this person’s mate. Only our heavenly Father should hold this position with us.)

Romans 7 uses divorce as an example of what legalism looks like versus grace. Verse 6 states, “So now we serve God in a new way with the Spirit, and not in the old way with written rules.” (Rom 7:1-6 NCV)

Grace and mercy abounds for new beginnings. We are not under law but grace. Yippee!!! Hallelujah!!

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