![Drowning-iStock-680x452[1]](https://i0.wp.com/httpchri.wwwmi3-ss18.a2hosted.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Drowning-iStock-680x4521-300x199.jpg?resize=300%2C199)
Drowning Taken from Drowning-iStock, Bing Images
The Pool:
A couple had been out for a walk and came upon a swimming pool. They were all dressed up for their stroll wearing new shoes, fancy clothes and costly hairdos.
Without warning, the one spouse pushed the other one into the pool and then left. The pool was dirty, cold, and the ladders removed as it was off season. Once in the pool, the victim does not have time to think about his/her clothing or if dress shoes will sustain the pool. The hairdo which provided a great appearance is no longer relevant. In fact, nothing prior to falling into the pool is important. There isn’t even time or energy to wonder why the partner would do this. Instead a remedy for survival must become the priority before drowning or freezing occurs. One of the first actions is to assess the situation as quickly as possible, striving to stabilize oneself as much as possible. This would probably mean getting to the least stressful part of the pool or the shallowest end. This is important as you do not want to waste necessary energy struggling with overhead waters or barriers that do not need to be fought.
Next, I would hope that one would realize that a rescuer is needed. Christians should be wise enough to know that is the role of our Savior.
I use to lifeguard and there were two things that were important when helping someone in distress. I always asked the swimmer to stand up erect in the water where they were. Since I knew the area, I was certain that the majority of persons could touch bottom and just walk out. Our Savior will ask us to put feet to our problem and do the work to improve the situation.
If I had to go in for the swimmer and he/she grabbed me around my neck, I had training on how to kick him/her away from me so that I would not be choked as we would both go under. I had to let the person know that I had to be in charge and he had to trust me to get him into shallow water. Our Savior does the same thing. He will let us struggle as long as we continue to manipulate the situation for our own control. You let go and trust Him, and then He provides rescue.
The point is, nothing about the partner’s behavior prior to being in the pool is relevant at this time. The same is true about divorce recovery. Spending time and thought about partner’s prior pool (separation or divorce) motives, etc, does not get you out of the pool. God sees you in the present and that is where He wants to help you. He’s not going to say, stay in the pool and let’s discuss why someone hurt you, or didn’t come back. He wants to discuss “what are we going to do about where you are right now in order to get out of this messy pool. (Now, you may choose to stay in the pool forever. Not comfortable but at least you know where you are and you might get attention from some who feels sorry for your predicament.) Or you can allow your Savior to help you get out of the pool. You can take a shower, cast off the pool smells and put on fresh clothes and look forward to a better day.
If you find yourself “stuck”, ask yourself the question, “Are my thoughts devoted to “pre-pool days” or “getting out of the pool”? Paul said to put away old things and “press on” to God’s high calling. Your thoughts must not be on what someone did to you but what God can do for you. Live in the present as God works in the present.
I can really relate to this blog today. I have been in the deep end of that pool for a long time. I like the analogy of the pool because it is clear if you stay in the deep pool, you will drown. I can also see much clearer that the mean person who threw you into the pool is gone , it wasn’t an accident it was a deliberate push, and they are not going to stick around and save you. Why is it that we look for comfort from the one who hurt us? I am crawling out of the pool now and looking to God to grow and let go.
Stephanie
Keeps this close at hand and check your thoughts to see if they are “in pool” thoughts or kayaking thoughts which are free and floating above your hurts to a new life. Love you
I have been in the pool for almost two years and am just starting to feel strong enough to find my way to the shallow end and out of the pool. My ex always makes contact every few months and that throws me back into the deep end of the pool. I have made a conscious decision not to talk to him at all anymore. My children are grown men and if they choose to reconnect with him that is their business. I am finally realizing that I have to accept this and move on. I am very frightened to think of my future and it’s easy to say I will let God handle it from here but I am afraid that if I don’t do something to figure out where I will live, how I will live since I am losing house that I am going to end up homeless. How do I know what I am supposed to do? Do I just sit back and wait? Please advise.
Pam
God expects us to put feet to our faith but not to get ahead of Him. The Holy Spirit has to tell us if that is the case. You know you have to have shelter so you must at least be searching options, apts, roommates, townhomes, renting or buying, etc. With your homework in hand, you start praying for God’s direction. He does expect us to do our due diligence.
What is excellent article. That analogy of the drowning victim in the pool brings the whole divorce issue to a head. I am learning over time that much of the reason for the dysfunction and pain that existed in my marriage was due to my compulsive drive to look for all my eggs in my former spouses basket. By nature and family nurture, one is rarely equipped to find strength and meaning in CHRIST Alone.
I spent years trying to get another human being to validate my worth.
It is never too late to learn new things, to build new skills and develop self respect. The divorce has been extraordinarily painful. However it is only in that pain that I am beginning to gain the reality of who I am and who I have been designed to be in Him. Thank you for all that you do Sandy. You are a wonderful coach and a wise lady – love you. Teri
Sandy,
It is so easy to focus on how we got where we are, and try to understand it. This word picture is really helpful in focusing on God in the here and now. I think we all need all the encouragement we can to focus on Him.
Thanks for sharing this and to you and Skye for devoting your lives to helping us become whole and well connected to God and others.
God bless you and Skye. Miss you!
Margaret
This passage is definitely for me, I am stuck in a pool wondering why he left, and I’m not trying to get out, I need the Lord to drag me out of this pool (the hurt),
Felicia
Don’t think the Lord is going to drag you out. He expects you to put feet to your healing. You must step out in faith.