I recently was chatting with a lay who had been divorced for over three years. She was expressing that she felt she had healed and was ready to start dating. She asked what I thought. Was she ready?
I must back up on the conversation however. The lady preceded this comment with an half hour discourse regarding her former spouse. Her “ex” had bought a house and was planning on marrying shortly. This really upset her. I asked her why she was upset since she felt she was ready for a new relationship. She finally came up with the root feeling; she did not want her former spouse back BUT she really did not want him to be happy either.
This is not an abnormal feeling. But, it is not Godly. God tells us to bless those who hurt us, or to wish blessings upon them. If we want God to bring a perfect “soul mate” to us, we must be obedient to His commands. “God will not advance your instructions beyond your last act of disobedience. If you don’t fully obey what God is telling you to do, you will never move beyond your current circumstances.” (“What Are Soul Ties”, author unknown.)
Therefore, we are not ready to look for another spouse if we still think about our former mates negatively. It might even be better to say; if we catch ourselves still thinking about our former spouses, we are not ready to date. These thoughts are harmful baggage that will get carried into a new relationship.
God gives you the desires of your heart. Therefore, if you have a desire to remarry, get ready by being obedient to God and blessing “all of his creation.”
Below is a great poem that suggests God’s action for a new mate.
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content
with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone;
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you’re united with Me.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to have the best.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait,
Don’t be anxious.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them.
Don’t look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready,
I’ll surprise you with a life far more wonderful than any you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have both ofyou ready at the same time),
until you both are satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your
relationship with Me: and this is the perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me
and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty,
perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I AM GOD.
Believe it and be satisfied!”